This is the second of two articles about hosting sex parties. Part 1 describes how sex party hosting can help newcomers, especially single males, establish themselves in the swinger lifestyle. It also provides advice on how to promote sex-parties to other swingers and ensure they are well attended. Help on finding and arranging suitable venues in which to hold events is also given.
The information and advice provided in this article concerns the actual hosting of parties for swinger couples and singles. It starts with the preparation of the venue prior to the arrival of guests. It continues with advice about ensuring that everything runs smoothly and looking after guests from their arrival through to their departure.
Whilst most swingers will bring their own condoms, someone always forgets or takes it for granted that there will be a free supply at every sex-party; so it is a good hosting practice to supply some just in case. Place some in every play-room and also consider putting out some individually wrapped single-use lube packets as well.
Another item that should be made available as part of your preparation are paper towels. Make sure there are easily accessible supplies in every room. Running around a venue, still naked following a frenetic group-sex session in search of something to wipe with, is not most swingers' idea of fun!
The planning and preparation of suitable mood lighting and music is perhaps the most difficult bit to get right because so much depends on the personal tastes of guests and the limitations of the premises. If you are hosting in premises big enough for a DJ to perform in, and you can find one who will do a sex party within your budget, you might consider hiring one. However, the music must be right for this kind of event and most importantly, suit the tastes of your guests. The problem is that you may not know anything about their tastes until the party is well under-way. In this case, you will need to take a risk and be prepared to learn from any mistakes for 'next time'.
Good sex party hosting is about making guests feel wanted, comfortable and relaxed. There is no better and no more important time to do this than when they arrive. Start by introducing yourself to them and thanking them for coming. Explain the layout of the premises. Tell them where the toilets are located. Describe the function of each room and where it is situated. Show them where to leave their coats, bags and valuables. Ask them if they will be wanting to change into any costumes they have brought along and where they can change into them. Reassure them that they can do this whenever they want to and not to feel under any pressure to do so at all if they don't feel comfortable.
Check whether they are smokers and if they are, show them how to get outside for a cigarette if they need to light up. Offer them a drink or if it is a 'bring-your-own-drinks' event, take them to the refrigerator and help them store what they've brought along; ideally putting a name-tag on it for them. Tell them what the food arrangements are and show them where any buffet, snacks or nibbles have already been laid out. Above all answer any questions they may have.
As soon as you have finished the reception duties and most guests have arrived, start mingling. Ensure that you do this in the fairest way possible, never giving too much attention to any one particular guest, couple or group. Listen and observe attentively for guests who are nervous or apprehensive about how the party may turn out. Reassure and help them to relax, introducing them to other guests. Be especially sure to provide introductions for any guests who don't appear to be doing much mingling or socialising for themselves.
You may find that some people already have some grumbles to air at this stage. It might be about the venue
and voiced along the lines of; "We thought the house had more bedrooms." Or it might be about the other guests;
"We were expecting a lot more people of our age," is a common example. Very often these type of complaints come from people
who are unconsciously looking for a way out of their swinger lifestyle fantasy. (It had always been just that;
a fantasy but they needed to attend a swinger party to prove to themselves that they had dared to pursue the dream.
But having got that far is enough and now they need an excuse to stop it going any further.)
As a good host, you can
only do your best to deal with such grumbles at face value. Although it can be difficult not to be emotional when
faced with criticism of your party, showing it will only serve to irritate the complainant. Try to put yourself in
their place and listen carefully to the grumble, asking questions and showing a genuine interest. There are
unlikely to be many really tangible solutions to these kind of grumbles but listening to them sympathetically is
often enough to restore people's trust.
There will always be some people who manage to disappear without giving you (or anybody else, for that matter) the chance to say goodbye. However, you should always try to see off as many people you can with a warm farewell and a hearty thanks for coming. It is also the best time to get some feedback which will help you to improve future events you host. Use the opportunity to ask them if they would consider coming back again and if you have already decided on a date for your next event, invite them to it. Be sure however, to follow up any invitations issued in this way because most people are more inclined to give polite acceptance than to say they cannot come or do not wish to.
After the event, it is really good idea to make a note of who attended the party, how long they stayed, any observations you can make about how they behaved, what feedback you got from them and whether they accepted any invitations you gave them. Keep this record and use it to help improve your future events and to identify the people you need most to make your future sex parties really swing.
This page is based on one of the sections of our invaluable swinger lifestyle guide:
Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle.
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