Body language zone-theory can help couples and singles to be more successful in attracting swing-partners when they are swinger dating or attending sex parties.
Understanding how personal comfort zones work, will be especially helpful to people who are new to the swinger lifestyle. Knowledge of how the zones work and how to apply the theory in crucial interpersonal situations, also helps the user feel more comfortable in their own body space and creates an extra layer of self confidence.
Everybody has four separate zones of personal space. These are: the Public Zone, the Social Zone, the Personal Zone and the Intimate Zone.
The following sections looks at each zone in detail and will help both singles and couples recognise them and learn how to use this knowledge to attract swing-partners when swinger dating or attending swinger events.
Think of being at a sex party or other swinger event. Imagine you are in the centre of a circle that has a two metre radius with all the other people in the room located outside of the circle. This is what we mean by the public zone. It is a zone that you use at events to suss out who might make a swing-partner before rushing in blindly to chat up singles or swinger couples who might be just waste of time. It is a place to watch out for subtle body-language signals from a distance. For example, you might notice someone adjusting their stance to a more sexually attractive pose or simply positioning their body so that it points towards you. When you observe one of these subtle gestures, the public zone offers you the opportunity to make eye contact with the people you fancy.
The social zone is situated between a one metre radius of the body and the two metre one that marks the public zone. You will observe the social zone in operation wherever a small group of people form. Within a group, each member is allowed to freely communicate with the other members but the group subconsciously give out a 'Members Only' signal to anyone outside of the circle. Some people manage to be successful in joining the group whilst others are subtly rejected.
You can observe a lot of interesting swinger body language going on in a group like this at a sex party. Females will be pointing their bodies at the people they find most interesting. They will adjust clothing and hair to reveal parts of their body. The more adventurous, scantily dressed, women will go further, revealing their more intimate places.
When you are part of such a group, watch out especially for the woman who changes her position to stand next to you. If she is part of a couple, observe her partner's reaction and check whether her move is encouraged or discouraged.
One of the most important functions of the social zone is that it makes it okay for couples to have semi-private conversations with one another, whilst maintaining their group membership. Look for opportunities to position yourself next to a potential swing-partner to begin your own conversation.
The personal zone resides inside of the one metre radius but still leaves sufficient space for people who are not intimate to feel comfortable. Touching is a normal and acceptable feature of the personal zone but intimate touching is not. Much of the body language signals which go on within the personal zone are eye contact ones or basic touch ones, like laying a hand on an arm for a few seconds. Train yourself to become bold and observant at gazing into the eyes of people who share their personal zone with you. Check whether eyes flicker back and forth and whether the pupils are becoming dilated. Be observant to recognise when the other person leans into you, as if to hear you better, or when they subtly press there body up against yours. These are all signals for you to reciprocate by touch and to start moving towards entering the fourth and final zone.
Perhaps we should call the intimate zone, the Swingers Zone because it is where the real swinging begins. It is closest possible distance between two people. Touching sexually is now okay.
In a one to one swinger dating situation, things really ought to be plain sailing from this point on but at a sex party, getting into the intimate zone may not always be enough. Some intimate fondling between the two people who have entered the zone might be where it all ends if one or both of the individuals are part of a couple. In this case, the other partner or partners might not be interested in the intimacy going any further and so it is important to have been carefully observing and reading the signals being given by the other players throughout the whole of the preceding conversations.
Mastering the swinger zone game requires understanding of how and when to move from one zone to the next. Just because you are meeting solely with the aim of enjoying recreational sex, doesn't mean you can skip zones whenever you want. Nor is it guaranteed that by entering a zone you will not have to return to the previous one at some stage. For example, someone may let you into their personal zone and then decide that they want to test things a bit further in the social zone. Even in the rarefied atmosphere of a full on, hardcore sex party, the game of moving through the zones will usually be played out in its entirety.
This page is based on one of the sections of our invaluable swinger lifestyle guide:
Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle.
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