Suggesting swingers should make use of Neuro-linguistic-programming (NLP) techniques might sound somewhat bizarre but being successful in the swinger lifestyle is more about having good people skills than it is about being physically attractive. NLP provides powerful communication techniques that can greatly enhance our skills with people. Swingers who use them, either intentionally or instinctively are more likely to succeed in attracting other swingers to join them for adult fun.
The most important NLP techniques for swingers to perfect are known as Rapport Techniques. Fortunately, they are also an easy techniques to understand and acquire. As the name suggests, the techniques are about building and entering a state of rapport with another person. A state of rapport exists when people who are communicating with each other feel empathy, understanding and shared values. In this state the probability of sexually chemistry being ignited or accelerated becomes very high.
Some people seem to have a natural instinct to build rapport and it was by closely studying how these people communicated, that psychologists developed NLP techniques; making them available for others to learn and use in wide-ranging social situations.
It is relatively easy to master the techniques that will increase your ability to build rapport with others. You may even recognize some of the techniques as being things you have always done quite naturally. If you do, the chances are you are already pretty good at striking up rapport with other people but you should still be able to improve with practice or by applying other techniques that you are less familiar with.
The three most important techniques are:
The key is always be paying full attention to the people you are communicating with. Most people either continuously talk at the other person or lose themselves, trying to think of things to say next. Swingers are no exception to this, so by really listening to someone, the chances are you'll already be ahead of the pack. When you are truly listening, you will automatically be in the right state for observing too. This means that you will find it easier to pick up on those subtle body signals and gestures we have discussed elsewhere in this swinger lifestyle guide.
People have a preferred mode of sensory perception. This is not a conscious thing and most people are totally
unaware that such a thing even exists. Swingers are no exception. The mode of sensory perception can be:
Auditory, Kinaesthetic or Visual
A person whose preferred mode of sensory perception is Auditory will be someone who uses words and phrases
connected with sound much of the time. For example; they are much more likely to choose the phrase; 'That
doesn't sound good' than they are to say; 'It doesn't look good to me'.
A person whose preferred mode of sensory perception is Kinaesthetic will describe their world in terms of touch
and feeling. They use phrases such as; I have a bad feeling about that.
A person whose preferred mode of sensory perception is Visual thinks and talks about things in visual terms and
are likely to be constantly saying 'I see' to indicate understanding and agreement, or phrases like; 'I
can't see why we should' to indicate disagreement.
When you are listening to other people, listen out for the clues to tell you which sensory perception mode they are communicating in. When you have ascertained whether it is auditory, kinaesthetic or visual, adapt the way you phrase things and select your words to match. By doing so you will build more rapport with them. You can even take this to another level by watching and matching certain eye signals that correlate with each of the sensory perception modes. For example; people who are communicating in visual mode have a habit of looking upwards when thinking of what to say or before answering questions. To find out more about this fascinating bodily expression of sensory perception, we suggest you subscribe to one of the many N.L.P. courses that are available online.
The use of these basic NLP, rapport building techniques can be applied whether you are swinger dating on a 1-2-1 basis, meeting a swinger couple as a single wanting a threesome or attending a sex party where you might be conversing with a group of swingers in the hope of being invited to join in with some of them for group sex later on. By practising at every opportunity and applying the techniques to different situations you will increase your skill at building rapport to the point where your chances of creating or intensifying sexual chemistry becomes very good indeed. In this way your journey along the path of the swinger lifestyle will prove a very successful and rewarding one.
This page is based on one of the sections of our invaluable swinger lifestyle guide:
Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle.
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