Getting the most from a swinger lifestyle

The Swinger Lifestyle: A Definition

The term, 'The Swinger Lifestyle' is a relatively modern one and most definitions of it tend to apply to couples only. Throughout this web-site and in our book, Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle, we include singles as well as couples. Our definition is:
The practise of polygamous sex and belief in its benefits to relationships and society. Regularly engaging in sexual activities with a variety of different partners, often communally in threesome sex, partner swapping, and other forms of group sex.
However despite the inclusion of singles, the content of this page is mainly aimed at couples because it addresses the very important issue of ensuring that swinging will bring happiness and enhance an existing monogamous relationship.

Don't Attend a Sex Party as Your First Step

If you are thinking about getting into the swinger lifestyle don't make your first step attending a sex party or joining a swinger club. Although this is what many couples do, it can back-fire disastrously for some, leaving their relationship and self esteem in tatters.
The sensible strategy is to carefully discuss over a substantial period of time what both partners want from the swinger lifestyle. During this period of time, both partners should read up all they can find about swinging. Swinging can definitely enhance relationships but it can also destroy them. So, read articles that honestly describe the negative things as well as well as the positives.

Avoiding Swinger Lifestyle Unhappiness

The essential thing for both partners to realise is that neither of them will be able to put things back to how they were before the first swinger-sex took place.
Discussing means listening to one another. Over the years of running a swingers club and attending sex parties, we have met some unhappy people with partners who seemed to be quite oblivious to their partner's unhappiness. Usually, the unhappy ones appeared to be acting out the role required of them. Often, when asked, "What do you enjoy most about swinging?" the unhappy partner would reply that it was seeing their other half pleased.
Avoid being a dominating partner who is oblivious to the true feelings of the other by listening carefully to everything your partner has to say throughout your discussions before starting a swinger lifestyle.
Equally, avoid being a subordinate partner who would rather feign happiness than risk 'upsetting' their other half by being truly assertive during the discussions of this essential pre-swinging period.

Swinger Dating or Swinger Club Event?

When - and only when - this process has been completed with honesty from both partners, make the decision to either embark on a swinger lifestyle or to retain a monogamous relationship. If the decision is to become swingers, you can consider what, for you, is the best way to get started.
A lot will depend on what is available in your area. If there isn't a good swinger club within the distance you are prepared to travel, you will need to look for other ways to meet up with swingers. The easiest way is to use an online swinger dating club .
Also, take into consideration your preferences about what type of initial meetings are going to make you feel the most comfortable and relaxed. For some couples, walking into a swinger club sex party for the first time can be quite an intimidating experience, whilst meeting at a pub or some other neutral premises is more relaxing. Some swingers even notice big differences between the way they feel about attending private house sex-parties and attending club based events. Everyone is different. The important thing is do it the way that you feel most comfortable about.